Playing a psychotic is the role of a lifetime for actress Samantha Sherwood (Samantha Eggar), who, in the ultimate example of The Method, commits herself to an institution; John Vernon, as the sleazy director, leaves her there. Vernon gathers up six actresses at his country home to audition for the role that Eggar thought she had locked. Eggar gets out and turns up at the house. High drama and bloodshed follow.Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the completely obscure 1983 slasher opus Curtains, with its killer shrouded in an old-hag mask. Director Richard Ciupka keeps the pace brisk, although screenwriter Robert Guza Jr. throws in a few unnecessary—and melodramatic—digressions involving Eggar’s generally pissed-off actress. (I say unnecessary, because even a blind monkey with a banana up its ass will spot the killer within the first fifteen minutes.) There are several descent kills, including the infamous ice-skating incident. There’s also a fairly well-staged chase scene near the end that begs the question why anyone ever thinks it’s a good idea to hide from the killer in a ventilation shaft. The acting is above reproach this time around, particularly from Eggar, Vernon, and Lynne Griffin as one of the thespians, which is entirely unusual for yet another Canadian tax-shelter flick (or any movie starring Jamie Lee Curtis).
So, the question has become legend: Where’s the Goddamned Love? Maybe I’m damning with faint praise here, but Curtains is most certainly one of the better examples of early-80’s-era slasher movies and deserves to finally get a proper DVD release. I have spoken…and so it shall be. *Poof*
